Lately I've been spending more time writing stories and books for my boy, and that led to an idea that amused me: snappy financial wellness parables in the style of a children's book. Enjoy!
Why Am I Broke?
by Dan Wickens
Why am I broke?
I tried really hard
I spent half my income
To lease a fast car
Why am I broke?
I blame my ex-spouse
I had the affair
So she got the house
Why am I broke?
Don’t laugh, that’s rude
I maxed out my credit
Now I’m totally screwed
Why am I broke?
I chased all the thrills
I financed it all
Now I can’t pay the bills
Why am I broke?
I don’t see it stopping
Unless I remember
To stop online shopping
Why am I broke?
I blame my dumb boss
It’s never my fault
It’s always their loss
Why am I broke?
I wasn’t that naughty
I make doctors rich
By trashing my body
Why am I broke?
I fell for a trap
bought too much house
And filled it with crap
Why am I broke?
I want to seem rich
If I don’t look fancy
My skin starts to itch
Why am I broke?
It's not really funny
I love pricey hobbies
And they love my money
Why am I broke?
My taste buds are king
I wine and I dine
And I won’t cook a thing
Why am I broke?
I placed some bad bets
My kneecaps aren't safe
Til I pay my debts
Why am I broke?
I let myself go
My blood pressure's high
My bank account's low
Why am I broke?
I shop when I’m stressed
That makes it worse
But hey, I’m well dressed!
The end (for now).
Wrapping up
Don't be ashamed if you read some of my nerd verses and think "ruh-roh, that's me!" The quips aren’t meant to shame, they’re meant to be memorable parables to help recognize solvable patterns. There are times good people are in bad financial shape for reasons outside of their control, but these lessons are about the attitudes, behaviors, and choices that leave people broke. Recognizing the pattern comes before changing the pattern.
Several of these are incredibly common representations of how difficulty with physical, mental, and/or social health can lead to financial problems, and I've even dealt with some of them myself. Check out The Four Circles of Health for more on those connections and a summary of the costs (literal and figurative) of not prioritizing my health.
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Think you can add a few lines to the story? Leave a comment with your best one!
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